Let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that you’ve won the opportunity to spend three weeks in an enclosed space with three total strangers.
During that period, you’ll be transported through some of the bleakest, most hostile and hottest environments known to man.
You’ll share a room with somebody you met only a couple of days before, and you’ll share a bathroom with that person, which means you’ll get to know them and their residual hair pretty well.
Let’s say, for example, that you won a place on the Fox Road Trip.
During that time, you’re going to have a blast. You’re going to drink cocktails with strippers in Vegas, you’re going to take early morning hot-air balloon flights, and you’re going to get comped tickets to watch live baseball games in great big stadiums.
Hell, there’s even an occasional free beer.
But it can all go to hell, and the fun can stop in a second, if you start to piss each other off.
It’s going to be TOUGH to not piss each other off. It’s an unnatural enviroment, and the hours are long.
So here’s three small pointers to keep relationships cordial, tempers intact, and rainbows shining (or whatever):
1. Shut up.
Seriously. Shut up. Spend a few minutes each day with your mouth closed. You might be hilarious, and your running commentary might be unmissable, but it’s only unmissable in your mind.
Keep your mouth closed, at least some of the time. Silence is golden, and the axe I’m going to use to cave in your head is diamond-tipped.
2. Say yes to everything
This means everybody gets to make suggestions and you all get to do cool stuff.
Because you’ve got nothing better to do, right? I mean, the sheer fact that you took three weeks out of your “busy schedule” to go on an extended, subsidized vacation means you’re basically unemployed anyway.
Keep your travels dull and your travel-buddies silently fuming by putting the kabosh on everybody else’s best laid plans. Sit in your hotel room. Surf the internet. Don’t let anybody else do anything.
3. Don’t get “too friendly” with each other.
Nothing will turn a trip sour more quickly than getting to like each other too much. Those long, long car journeys will triple in perceived length, and your tolerance for one another will diminish quicker than the gas in your tank.
Put a cork in it and get your rocks off when you get home.
There you go. Simple as those three rules. Ignore them, and you’ll royally piss off your travelling companions. Stick to them, and you’ll still piss them off, only it will take a little longer.
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This has been a public service announcement from Matthew Kimberley, author of How To Get A Grip
